SUBRA - I

K Patti to Madras!

Everything was set. The bags were packed and were already being shifted from the home to the bus stand. The house itself was very busy – we were the first family to leave Kaavalkaaranpatti that year, after nearly 2 months of summer holidays.

Amma and Appa were doing the last minute checkings and were in the process of bidding good byes to Aunts and Uncles. My cousins and a few friends were there around me, trying to console me. I was on the verge of crying… offering my prayers to all the gods I knew, requesting them to somehow extend my stay in K.Patti (as Kaavalkaaranpatti is shortly called). I even tried acting as if I had a severe stomach ache - hoping that it will somehow help me stay here for some more time. I was desperate. But no one (or nothing) seemed to help me, even the gods - everyone was trying to console me and telling me to take it easy. I was not convinced….I somehow felt very un-comfortable, as I always did on the last day at K.Patti. This happened year after year - the last day in K.Patti was tough…leaving behind all the fun and returning to school and the routine wasn’t that easy for me.

“Okay Subra. Pick up your bag. Its time, the bus will arrive in 5 minutes time. Say good bye to everyone. Get paati’s blessings. And for god’s sake do not cry…”

Tears ran down my cheek as my mother was going to complete the sentence. I knew it – I have no other choice, not anymore. I went to paati and looked at her – stood there word-less, she knelt down, hugged me tight, gave me a ten rupee note and put some sacred ash on my forehead.

“Write letters Subramani. Don’t forget your paati. And don’t feel bad. You are visiting Madras for the first time – believe me it will be a beautiful experience…you will enjoy it. So look forward to it….Come back next year. I’ll also visit you in the mean time, if possible – do not cry please…”

“Subra, don’t cry. Comeon…”

Suddenly everyone around started to console me as tears started to pour out of my eyes....the more they did the more I cried. I wasnt able to control myself.....I did not want to leave K. Patti......my uncles and aunts tried their best to stop me from crying....they tried that by even offering big chocolates and stuff.....but I was unstoppable!!

That was when I felt a strong hand on my shoulder. My father's hand. I looked up at him – ‘Enough Subra. Start now, I mean, right now' was what his face expressed - he did not utter a word, but I understood it all.....I read my father's expressions very well......

Without any further effort, I picked my little yellow bag and started to walk towards the bus stand and did not talk to anyone until we – my dad, mom and me – got into that pale yellow bus to go to the nearby town’s bus stand to take a bus to MADRAS.

I waved K.Patti, the last good bye for the year. As the bus moved forward, my mind moved behind reminding me of those beautiful days spent here – with absolute freedom and happiness. Everything I saw reminded me of K.Patti and the days spent there…I had no control of my mind and was looking at the darkness outside the bus as the fresh air from outside the window hit me on my face….

This bus to Madras was no different. It was pale and un-inviting. It made all the possible noises in the world – it was really very noisy inside the bus...! And as usual, I was looking out of the window, into the darkness, and was thinking of what I was doing the same time last night, same time the night before that, a week before, a month before…..two months seemed very long a time….

The bus was dimly lit as it was night and everyone else was sleeping including my dad and mom….I was wondering how come they were able to sleep in between all this noise that this bus was making…..the noise was terrible and unbearable for me….the creaking noise of the bus as it was moving….the noise that the engine of the bus was making…..the noise generated due to the vibration of the glass windows of the bus…. somehow, the noise was terribly disturbing the already disturbed me….

But eventually, I slept. And when I woke up – the bus was still moving and making all sorts of noises, but, the picture outside the window had changed. The morning breeze was fresh and it was a little brighter outside…..the freshness that the air brought with it made me a little light. I was looking at the changing pictures outside the window of the bus – mostly trees and mountain like rocks - and it was interesting. The bus, in the mean time, had become busy – the co-passengers were starting to check the luggage and stuff and so did my dad, a few people were already at the door, probably waiting for their stop. I understood we were nearing Madras.

The very thought of going to Madras brought a little shiver in me.

‘I am going to be in Madras, going to be part of this huge city, going to see L.I.C building…’ - my anticipation grew…

I thought of the previous town I was in, for a moment....the life there…..the friends whom I had left behind…everything seemed to have happened all of a sudden...I hadnt even informed them that I will never return back after the summer holidays....I did not know then that one day my father will walk in and announce that we are going to Madras this time around and not to Madurai...

How many times have we, my friends and I, talked about Madras....how many times.... and visiting it atleast once was one of our life-time goals!! But today I am going to be there…from now on, I am going to go to a school in madras...my mind was wandering.....

And finally we were there, at a huge bus stand. I had never seen any bus stand as big as this, before. It was very busy. I was astonished to see something as big and new as this. The number of faces I saw, the number of buses, the number of shops, autos, taxis……that was when I really felt – I was in Madras!!!

We took an auto and had to literally squeeze the luggage and ourselves into it. I was in between mom and dad and due to the luggage, I wasn’t able to do what I love doing – watching the world from a moving vehicle!!! When the auto stopped, we were in front of a relatively old two storey building located in a pretty busy street. It was a pale white building.....and our house was in the second floor of that building – the house was smaller than our previous one. My dad had already set up the house with the help of a few friends when we were in K.Patti. It felt very different – not very good, not very bad.

My mom was taking a closer look and was examining the house.... my dad was explaining to her about all the stuff she needs to be careful about....being in Madras....and also other details like the location of the shops and stuff.....

As always, I was looking out of the window to try and see if there was anything interesting out there – there was a house, I wasn’t able to see it clearly, just got a rough picture – but I was able to hear the voices clearly. A woman was bargaining to a fruit-seller for two rupees that moment....

Our house had just a small hall, a small room, a small kitchen, a bathroom and a toilet - nothing more, nothing less. My mom and dad were having some serious discussion which I was in no position to understand. I was busy thinking of what I was doing the same time yesterday, same time the day before that, a week before, a month before….

My dad’s friend Anbu uncle was the first person to visit us here. It was he who had helped my dad in setting this house up when we were at K.Patti. It was he who had got me a seat in a school here, which is supposed to be one of the better schools around....I guess, it was he who recommended my dad this job, here in Madras, which eventually was the reason for our shift to Madras.

The first day went off fine and so did the next. Nothing much happened – Mom and dad were busy changing things from one place to the other and back to another – I was helping them, by not disturbing them in what they were doing. I was watching them work when I had the time to think of the present – otherwise, I was literally living my past – the days in K.Patti.

A few strangers also visited the place, offered us help, most of which my dad refused to accept with a smile in his face. The strangers that day became our neighbors, sooner than I thought – mom started liking the place and she seemed pretty happy about everything here - the place, house and the neighbors. There was only one guy of my age in our 'pale-white' building which had six small houses. That boy lived in the ground floor flat and he never seemed to open his mouth - so I never got an opportunity to get to know his name in the first couple of days. He was in grade six, an year younger to me and wasn't part of the school I was about to join - I was pretty happy about that - I somehow, did not like him very much. He seemed to be always busy with a rubber ball, that he owned, either pitching it in the ground and allowing it to raise or throwing it on the walls and trying to catch it....eitherway, he was always behind the ball....running to catch it, as catching the ball was something he wasn't good at!!

Everything was set by Tuesday evening – two days of hard work – and the place we were in became our house. The next morning was a big day for me. My first day in “Gurukulam” - my new school!!!! For some strange reason, I wasn't put in school for the first two days, though the school was already open and the classes were going on!!

I hadn’t visited the school before that, but was given admission as Anbu uncle knew the principal personally and had given assurance that I will perform very well in school. I tried my brand new school uniform again – blue trouser and a white shirt – it felt good, being in a school uniform.

That night I did not sleep well…I was thinking about how it was all going to be in a new place, a new school and a lot of new people around – probably a few friends too. I wished I went to that school in Kaavalkaaranpatti or atleast the previous school I was in, where I had a lot of friends and where I had a lot of fun too. The very thought of this new school somehow made me very uncomfortable…….I was very afraid…..

Eventually, night gave way to morning. And in no time, I was getting down the stairs with my new uniform on and a rough notebook in my hand and a lunch pack, waving good-bye to mom. Appa had borrowed Anbu uncle’s scooter….and the first ride in the roads of Madras sitting behind my dad in that scooter, which should have been wonderful, wasn’t really cool as my mind was still afraid of being in Gurukulam…It was then I realized how much I was used to the old school I was in and how much I missed it, though we, friends, always cribbed about it being too small and the teachers being rude and all….

As the scooter entered the big compound, my heart started pounding….I wanted to run back – but had no choice…there was a green gate inside the huge compound and near the gate was a big board which read - “GURUKULAM”, affiliated to Central board of Secondary Education.

SUBRA - II

VII 'C', GURUKULAM

The school was very big compared to my old school and was pretty busy too. My father and I were waiting infront of the principal's room and as soon as my principal arrived, I was asked to leave to my class room, right away.

I waved good-bye to my dad and walked alongside a stranger, Pandurangan, the school peon, who was assigned the task of showing me my class room - VII Standard C section.

Pandurangan asked me something - in a strange language. It took me sometime to actually identify the language he was using – it was in fact Tamil, but the slang he used was completely different that I did not understand a word.I made him repeat the question a number of times (as I did not understand what he was talking) that he stopped asking the question and did not expect me to answer too. The rest of our journey, from the office room to my class room, was silent.

My class room too was in the second floor (as my house) and there were a number of class rooms in the same floor. I looked curiously into each class, through the open doors and the windows, as we walked along the long corridor. And finally Pandurangan halted near the entrance of a class room – I stood beside him. He told the teacher something, which again, I did not understand. The teacher looked at me, with a smile and asked me to come in.

I entered the class room and turned back to thank Pandurangan, but he wasn’t there – he had already left. I stood near the entrance without knowing which side to go. The teacher showed me a direction and a few guys made some adjustments and gave me a seat to sit. The whole class was waiting for me to settle down – I sat down, kept my lunch pack below the table and put the rough note book, which I was carrying with me, on the desk and looked up at the teacher – the whole class, including the teacher, was still waiting for me…

‘Comfortable?!’ the teacher asked me as soon as I saw her

‘Yes ma’m’

‘Nice. What’s your name?!’

‘S. Subramanian ma’m’ I got up to answer her…

‘Good. Where do you come from?’

‘Madurai ma’m’

After the routine introduction was over, she asked me to sit down and continued with the lesson…I tried to concentrate on what she was teaching – All I could think of, at that moment, was this - She was sweet, Motherly – I felt instantly comfortable with the way she treated the class!!

As soon as the class was over – the whole class’ attention was on me – or so did I think. I looked around and a number of guys were curiously looking at me. I was a little intimidated and sat there without uttering a word....